- Old chemistry teachers never die, they just fail to react.
- What did the biologist wear on his first date? Designer jeans.
- Why do tigers have stripes? So they don’t get spotted.
- What did the receiver say to the radio wave? Ouch! That megahertz.
- What do astronauts do when they get angry? Blast off! .
- Where did the lightning bolt propose to his girlfriend? Cloud 9.
- What did the volcano say to his wife? I lava you so much!
- What do you call two dinosaurs that have been in an accident? Tyrannosaurus wrecks
- If an experiment works, something has definitely gone wrong.
- How do spacemen kill time on long trips? They play astronauts and crosses.
- Teamwork is essential, it means you can always blame someone else.
- Does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives?
- How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Can't be done sorry, it's a hardware problem.
- What are a Scientist's favorite states? Solid, liquid, gas, (and plasma).
- Why can you not trust an Atom? Because it makes up everything!
- Why is it good to avoid a potassium party? Because it is always Bananas!
- When do you study the Periodic Table? Periodically!
- Hydrogen goes to an establishment and orders a drink. The waiter says, "Sorry, I don't serve Noble Gases here." The Hydrogen didn't react.
- A photon checks into a hotel, and the bellhop asks if he has any luggage. The photon replies, "No, I'm traveling light!"
- What is a physicist's favorite snack? Fission Chips!
- Oxygen and Potassium went on a date. It was OK.